Simon Says
Simon Says
When I heard the announcement informing us that "All year 3s and 4s please make your way to the hall this assembly", I gave that usual damn-I-knew-this-was-coming groan. Sitting in the hall with an estimated 700 people with no air-con is not the ideal way to end the day.
Still, it's a cruel society we live in, and we once again had to squeeze into the stuffy hall. Strangely, a setup of drums, guitars a bass and a microphone was on stage. I thought that maybe, just maybe, this assembly might be entertaining.
I thought wrong.
In all my 15 years of life (which includes 1 series of Rockstar Supernova, 7 series of American Idol, 2 series of Campus Superstar and 1 series of Superstar), I have never ever heard such horrendous singing. The guy with the ugly green shirt and black skinnies on stage was jumping around like he was jamming to Green Day in his own room and nobody was watching. If only that was the case.
And through that time I was slowly pondering over whether he thought he was a good singer or just an expert in self-denial. By this time you're asking, "What's with the title?", since nothing so far has sounded like the innocent, children's game played at birthday parties for 5 year olds and Year 1 orientation. Anyone who saw the last sentence as a dig at boring secondary school games, raise your hand and say "Aye!"
Unless you've been stranded on an island with no TV (or just living under a rock), you should know of American Idol's infamous but oh-so-entertaining-to-watch Simon Cowell. That man delivers the meanest, most vile comments to self-delusional Idol-hopefuls with a straight face, all topped off with his haughty British accent.
I was wondering what comments the singer or wailer, whichever word you prefer, would recieve if he tried out for American Idol. From Simon, specifically. But since such a thing is impossible since I doubt he could earn enough money to take a bus with his vocals, let alone an air ticket, I have came up with a few ideas should he really decide to go for a Singaporean version.
Here's another crazy, fun, and completely useless listpost by stopping2think.
10 Things Simon Would've Said
1. If you sing a Linkin Park song, there'll be bloodshed.
2. Well, I'm feeling quite like the camera in the middle of the hall there - we're both here to shoot you.
3. The most devastating part of this performance was that I couldn't even sleep through it.
4. Paula wasn't joking when she said you had a great vocal range
5. Security?
6. Maybe if you'd spent less time jumping back and forth, you might've gotten a note or two on key.
7. I've heard it so many times I'm sick of it - I don't care if you take singing lessons.
8. I do agree that there were some technical difficulties affecting the performance - They couldn't turn off the microphone.
9. Randy, stop laughing already.
10. William Hung would be proud.
When I heard the announcement informing us that "All year 3s and 4s please make your way to the hall this assembly", I gave that usual damn-I-knew-this-was-coming groan. Sitting in the hall with an estimated 700 people with no air-con is not the ideal way to end the day.
Still, it's a cruel society we live in, and we once again had to squeeze into the stuffy hall. Strangely, a setup of drums, guitars a bass and a microphone was on stage. I thought that maybe, just maybe, this assembly might be entertaining.
I thought wrong.
In all my 15 years of life (which includes 1 series of Rockstar Supernova, 7 series of American Idol, 2 series of Campus Superstar and 1 series of Superstar), I have never ever heard such horrendous singing. The guy with the ugly green shirt and black skinnies on stage was jumping around like he was jamming to Green Day in his own room and nobody was watching. If only that was the case.
And through that time I was slowly pondering over whether he thought he was a good singer or just an expert in self-denial. By this time you're asking, "What's with the title?", since nothing so far has sounded like the innocent, children's game played at birthday parties for 5 year olds and Year 1 orientation. Anyone who saw the last sentence as a dig at boring secondary school games, raise your hand and say "Aye!"
Unless you've been stranded on an island with no TV (or just living under a rock), you should know of American Idol's infamous but oh-so-entertaining-to-watch Simon Cowell. That man delivers the meanest, most vile comments to self-delusional Idol-hopefuls with a straight face, all topped off with his haughty British accent.
I was wondering what comments the singer or wailer, whichever word you prefer, would recieve if he tried out for American Idol. From Simon, specifically. But since such a thing is impossible since I doubt he could earn enough money to take a bus with his vocals, let alone an air ticket, I have came up with a few ideas should he really decide to go for a Singaporean version.
Here's another crazy, fun, and completely useless listpost by stopping2think.
10 Things Simon Would've Said
1. If you sing a Linkin Park song, there'll be bloodshed.
2. Well, I'm feeling quite like the camera in the middle of the hall there - we're both here to shoot you.
3. The most devastating part of this performance was that I couldn't even sleep through it.
4. Paula wasn't joking when she said you had a great vocal range
5. Security?
6. Maybe if you'd spent less time jumping back and forth, you might've gotten a note or two on key.
7. I've heard it so many times I'm sick of it - I don't care if you take singing lessons.
8. I do agree that there were some technical difficulties affecting the performance - They couldn't turn off the microphone.
9. Randy, stop laughing already.
10. William Hung would be proud.
posted by someone who stopped to think at
01:27
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