All Tied Up

All Tied Up

Every morning, my routine beckons at me to peel my lazy cranium off my pillow. The comfortable enclosure calls out to me, whispering little temptations into my ear to entice me into maintaining my restful recline. The siren song calls out to me louder as my routine gets annoyed and tugs me off, sparing my thirst for slumber no quarter. My mental checklist kicks in as I brush my teeth and jerk at the temperature of my shower (which I have never been able to get right). I continue my pre-programmed process, getting dressed, having breakfast, and putting on my shoes. And for the first time in a long time, I stepped out of the house and turned back - I almost forgot my tie.

I've been set up as a target time and again as a Junior High student. The donning of a familiar blue cloth covering my metal buttons outside of Mondays attracted the wrong kinds of attention from teachers. I had to be extra careful in my attitude and attire, fearing for what I represented and portrayed constantly. My friends contributed to my constant subconscious anxiety, albeit in more casual ways, but nevertheless a presence unable to be ignored.

The initial discomfort that I couldn't reconcile with in year 2 had made its play on my conscience. Tempting, persuading and tugging at my indecision, I wavered early on about when and where are the boundaries for this subtle torture that I could not separate myself from. Mondays proved to be the greatest challenge, when my other classmates released themselves from the discomforting bind, and happily enjoyed the freedom of unhindered breath.

My contemplation ended up lasting through my term. The continual struggle could not be completely stowed away - My resolve in keeping my tie on would last a few weeks initially. Thereafter, I approached the shades of gray in this seemingly insignificant dilemma, and I thankfully make the same decision. Over and over.

The recurring demand on my faith in my decision had led to me to start to take pride in my daily ritual. My tie slowly turned from a bothersome noose into a feature I pride myself in. My tie is my reminder of my duties, my responsibilities and my ability. More importantly, my tie is what ties me to other more important entities. I am tied to the school, knowing that I wear its logo proudly in front of me. I am tied to the Council, remembering this as part of my promise to them. I am tied to my values, with my tie being the lowliest of such manifestations.

What are you tied to?